Ninja Harry
by gredandforgerock
Summary: Harry and Ginny are kidnapped during Christmas of Harry's fifth year. Laughter, pranks and fun ensue.
1. Chapter 1

Ginny had just finished reminding Harry that she had been possessed by Voldemort and could tell him if he was. He apologized but then explained how it was like he was the snake; he was the one to attack their father. Ron disagreed and told him he was in his bed the whole time. Harry started to pace and think. As he walked past Ginny he was blinded by a white light and he felt himself being pulled off his feet. It was over so quickly he didn't even have time to yell about it. He looked around wildly but all he could see was Ginny and the darkness surrounding them.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes, what happened?" she asked.

"Don't know but this doesn't look like Grimmauld Place. Do you have your wand?" he asked.

"Already out, you?" she asked

"Same."

They stood back to back at a slight ready crouch. They kept their eyes moving over the area looking for their attacker. Harry reached to his left and found a wall in the darkness.

"Wall on your right." he said quietly.

"Found it." she whispered her reply. "One ahead of me and to the left too."

"Same, we're boxed in," he stated. "Can't tell if there's a top though."

Just then above them was lit up like day. Both turned and pointed their wands while trying to protect their eyes. No one was above them when their eyes finally adjusted. Ginny kept her eyes up as Harry started to search the box they found themselves in. It was small; at least it was small with two teens in it. Side to side he could reach out his hands and touch the walls at the same time. The other direction it was wider

"I see some movement." Ginny whispered. Harry stopped and listened but heard nothing. Suddenly dirt started pouring in on top of them.

"Move to the side." Harry said jerking her with him.

As dirt continued to pour in they moved to stand on it instead of being buried in it. They still sunk in a few inches but never let it get over their ankles. When they got near the top Harry peered over the edge.

"We're surrounded by people in black but they don't look like Death Eaters." he said as he struggled to stay on top of the dirt but below the edge of the box.

Just when he didn't think he could stay below the edge any more the dirt stopped.

"Congratulations." a voice called out to them. "You've passed the test so we'll train you."

"And you are?" Ginny asked.

"We're called the Laughing Ninja's." the voice called out to them, "I know that's sound a bit like a contradiction but we laugh silently. Most of the time."

Harry cocked an eyebrow at Ginny and she shrugged in response.

"What do you want from us?" she asked.

"To train you duh. Didn't I already say that?"

"For what?" Ginny asked.

"Why don't you get out of the dirt and we'll talk." A head popped up over the edge and then a hand followed.

"So what's with the box and the dirt?" Harry asked after they were helped out and onto solid ground.

"Testing to see if you have any brains at all. You'd be surprised at how many people just let themselves be buried." the man said.

"Really?"

"Yes, but we don't allow that to kill them." he said, "We just send them back home."

"Speaking of that…" Ginny looked questioningly at the man.

"After you're trained." he said.

"Trained for what exactly?" Ginny was getting frustrated.

"To be an assassin." he said, "That's what Ninja's do."

"I don't want to be an assassin. I don't want to kill people." Ginny stated.

"Not even a certain dark lord?" he asked.

"Ok maybe that one but that's all." she said.

"No after him will be another dark wizard and then when he's gone another." he said, "It's a cycle that never ends. A circle of life kind of thing."

"Huh?" Ginny asked.

"Are you muggles?" Harry asked.

"No just highly inquisitive wizards. Rather like the two of you. That's why you were chosen for the test." he said.

"Ok, so who are you?" Harry asked.

"Oh sorry I should have done that already. I'm Master Wang of the Laughing Ninja's but you can just call me Nick." he said.

"Ok Nick I guess I'm going to bite the big question." Harry said, "Who or what are the laughing Ninja's?"

"Finally, I didn't think you'd ever ask." Nick grinned, "Like I said we're Ninja Assassins that laugh silently. Most of the time. We have six rules that you must agree to follow. If you do we'll train you to kill your dark lord thingy."

"What are the rules?" Harry asked immediately interested in what the man had to say.

"Rule one: Only kill the bad guys, but no unforgivables."

"I think I can agree to that one." Harry said.

"Me too." Ginny agreed.

"Rule two: If you don't kill the bad guy make him wish he was dead."

"I really like that one." Ginny grinned.

"Me too." Harry agreed.

"Rule three: Use any means to make him wish he was dead and almost any means to make him dead."

"Almost?" Harry asked.

"See rule one." he said.

"No unforgivable, ok I'm good." Harry said and Ginny nodded her agreement.

"Rule four: If you can laugh while you do it all the more better."

"Why would I laugh while killing someone that sounds a little disturbing." Ginny said.

"We need to reword that one a bit." Nick said, "It means if you can prank him to death."

"Oh well that's ok then." Ginny said, "Do you know my twin brothers?"

"Heard of them and to meet them would be awesome, but they aren't Ninja material." Nick said, "To focused on laughing and not enough on killing."

"Ok, rule five?" Harry asked.

"Right rule five: If you can make him want to kill himself that's sweet."

"I'm in." Harry said.

"I like it to but we better wait for number six." Ginny said and Harry agreed grudgingly.

"Rule six: If he succeeds you get the high score."

"You mean if he really kills himself…" Harry said.

"You get the high score." Nick nodded.

"That's your rules to live by?" Ginny asked.

"Yep. Now do you think you can abide by them?" he asked.

"Yes. Absolutely." Harry grinned, "How about you Ginny?"

"Do I have to keep my pranking to only the bad guys?" she asked.

"No. Only the Ninja pranks have to be on the bad guys. Regular pranks can be on anyone." Nick said.

"And the difference?" she asked.

"Ninja pranks are the ones that prank them to death. Literally." Nick pointed out.

"Cool, I'm in." Ginny grinned.

"So we begin." Nick grinned, "First we get you your cool Ninja clothes and gear."

**Back at Grimmauld place….**

"What just happened?" Fred asked.

"Where's Ginny and Harry?" George asked.

"Mum." Ron yelled opening the door. He tried to run out of the room but only succeeded in running into Sirius who was startled from his singing of Christmas carols.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"There was a light and they just disappeared into it." Ron said nearly hyperventilating, "They were there and then gone just like that."

"Who?" Sirius asked.

"Ginny and Harry." yelled Hermione, Ron and the twins.

Panic ensued at Grimmauld place. When Albus Dumbledore and Madeye Moody arrived it was to see people running around with their arms in the air screaming and bumping into walls and each other.

"What's going on?" Albus tried to stop Hermione as she ran by.

"Harry and Ginny are missing. Then Fred and George put this stupid spell on us and we can't stop, ouch Ron, running around like crazy people. It's got another thirty seconds until the spell wears off." she answered as Ron ran into her.

"Sorry, blame Fred and George." Ron yelled as he went on past.

Finally the spell wore off and Albus heard Molly yelling at the twins. He followed the voices into the kitchen and sat at the table to watch the show.

"Sorry Mum." Fred said.

"The prank was in place…" George added.

"before they went missing…" Fred stated.

"and we forgot about it." George finished.

"At least we were able to summon Albus before it took effect." Molly sighed, "No more pranks or no more quidditch."

"Harsh punishment." Fred and George responded together.

"Not harsh enough, if those two babies are hurt I'll take it out on your hides." Molly explained.

"Mum." Ron snickered, "I don't think Ginny and Harry will appreciate you calling them babies."

"Hush Ronald." Molly said, "Hermione will you tell them what you all saw."

"We went up to confront Harry about his recent behavior." Hermione started, "We convinced him he is not being possessed by You Know Who and he was pacing the room thinking about it. As he walked past Ginny there was a bright flash of light. When it was gone… so were they."

Albus put the Order into action. They searched high and low but no trace of Harry and Ginny could be found. Snape found that the Dark Lord didn't even know Potter was missing. He was still making plans to capture and kill the brat. When school started up after New Years it was a somber group that informed the rest of Gryffindor that the two were missing. Within two days the rumor mill at Hogwarts had taken the story and ran with it. It was a very bushy haired Hermione who approached Ron and the twins one night just a few days into school.

"What happened to you?" Ron asked eyeing her hair.

"They won't stop." Hermione growled, "I have been asked everything from did You Know Who kidnap them to torture and kill them to did they elope. It's been driving me crazy, they won't let me study."

"Hermione." Lavender called, "I just heard that Harry and Ginny have been taken by Beauxbatons to be tortured for information about Hogwarts is that what's happening?"

"I. Don't. Know." Hermione ground out. When Ron looked back at her he saw her hands were tangled in her hair and pulling as she grimaced looking like she was in pain.

"Hermione stop." he said, "You're going to pull your hair out."

"Tell me something I don't know." she replied snippily.

The boys calmed her down and kept everyone away while she finished her homework. The next morning they kept her surrounded through breakfast. The first class of the day for Ron and Hermione was Defense with Umbridge. They were both thinking about just skipping the class not wanting to be near the horrid woman. In truth Ron wasn't sure Hermione could make it through the class without hexing someone.

"What are you all wearing?" Umbridge asked as she looked up at the class from her chair behind her desk.

"We're wearing our uniforms as usual." Pansy said looking confused.

"Don't lie to me." Umbridge growled, "We'll just call the headmaster about this."

She wrote a note and sent it flying out the door. Then she leaned back in her chair with an evil smile on her face.

"What's wrong Delores?" Albus asked when he arrived at the class.

"Just look at them." she pointed at the Gryffindors in the room, "Out of uniform and trying to pretend everything's normal."

"They are in uniform. Everything is normal." Albus said confused, "Are you feeling well?"

"I'm perfectly fine." she replied, "But they're wearing those things. That is not part of the uniform."

"I'm sorry I just don't see what you're talking about." Albus said.

"You are in on it." she accused getting up out of her chair and moving towards him, "I…" She paused in her rant with an odd look on her face. The cloths on the students seemed to be changing. After a few seconds everyone was in their normal uniform, "What? How did you…"

"What?" Albus asked.

"They all just changed back." She glared.

"Have you been sitting in you chair the whole time?" Albus asked.

"Yes why?"

He waved his wand and said, "Here we are. Someone hexed your chair."

"Who?"

"Well I have no idea." Albus said.

"Check their wands." she ordered pointing at the Gryffindors.

Albus complied and found a variety of hair drying, ironing spells and a few that were practicing spells for classes. None of them could have done the spell that was on Umbridge's chair.

"They must have done it last night." she accused, "I was here supervising detentions until eight. One of them snuck in after I left."

"It wasn't a Gryffindor." Albus stated, "They had a house meeting last night that lasted from eight until nine thirty. Someone had pulled some pranks in the dorms and they were trying to sort it out. But not even the Weasley twins could figure out the prank and how it was pulled. We put a monitor on the door to see who was going in and out and no one left the tower last night."

Over the next several weeks the pranks on Delores Umbridge increased. Her clothes alternated between too tight and too big. The colors were changed from pink to blue to green to black and then started the stripes and spots. But only Umbridge could see the changes. For everyone else her clothes stayed the same size and same color as always. After a full two weeks of her ranting and raving about nothing Albus insisted she get a check up by Poppy.

"No I will not have one of your people touch me." she growled, "I still think you're the one behind it. I will call St. Mungo's to send someone trustworthy."

"Fine just tell me who and when." Albus sighed.

"Why?"

"So I can let them in." he explained.

The healer came and told her she was stressed and needed some calm time for a while. He suggested she take a break from teaching. She laughed off his concerns and went back to teaching. After a few days of nothing abnormal it started again. But this time they were worse. Her chair grabbed hold of her and wouldn't let go. Suits of armor were dropping their weapons just as she passed by, several times her clothes were damaged by the weapons. And these pranks everyone was able to see. But no one could find the spells on the suits of armor or her chair. After one close call where she received a cut from one of the weapons the aurors even checked and couldn't find anything.

One particular Saturday after she had twenty students in detention she was attacked again. She had forced the students to use her blood quills during their detention. When it was over she was following them back out to the Great Hall for lunch. She was walking on the opposite side of the hall as the suits of armor trying to stay away from their weapons. The last suit of armor jumped off its plinth as she went by and it grabbed her. She screamed and the students turned to see what had happened. Several of them left to go get teachers. Albus and Minerva followed the students back to find Delores being held two feet off the floor in a bear hug by a suit of armor.

When Albus approached the suit turned, "She is guilty of endangering the lives of your students. She used blood quills in her detention. I will hold her until you have Aurors come and arrest her."

"You must be mistaken." Albus looked aghast, "They are illegal."

"She made us use quills that wrote into the backs of our hands." Ron showed Albus his fist, "I don't know if that's what you're talking about but it writes our lines in our own blood." On the back of his hand Dumbledore was able to see the words, I must not tell lies, "Harry's are a lot worse. I doubt his scars will go away. He's had to use it too many times."

"Minerva." Albus stated.

"All ready done. I sent a call to Kingsley." she stated glaring at the horrid woman.

"Why didn't any of you tell us about this before?" Albus asked.

"Harry is the only one I knew about before today." Ron said, "He refused to tell saying you have enough to worry about and he was fine."

Albus pulled Ron further down the hall and talked softly to him, "Do you have any idea why Harry wouldn't tell me about this?"

"I think it has to do with his lack of trust in adults." Ron said, "His Aunt and Uncle pretty much beat out any trust he might have had. I know it's bad there but he won't talk about it, says it won't do any good to bring it up anyway."

"But," Albus said, "They're family I'm sure they love him."

"Professor, have you ever gone to check up on him?" Ron asked.

"No." Albus sighed, "I was afraid I would lead Death Eaters to his door."

"This is all Potters doing." Delores called loudly from down the hall when the Aurors arrived, "He is trying to kill me."

Striding back to the group Albus looked at the woman with disdain, "Delores, Harry has been missing since Christmas. How could he possibly be doing this to you?"

"I don't know. But I know it's that delinquents fault. He's trying to get back at me. I won't be cowed." she screamed.

"Why would she want to be a cow on top of being a toad?" Luna asked airily.

Snickers were heard around the hall. Even Minerva had turned her back. Albus noticed her shoulders were shaking.

"What would he be getting you back for?" Albus wondered aloud.

"For his detentions." she was beginning to lose control, "He didn't like using a blood quill any more than these brats do. We can't have these hooligans disrupting our world. They're just trying to take over so we can't tell them what to do. I'll show them though. I promise to make them all bleed to death to get them under control if I need to."

"Delores Umbridge." Kingsley stated clearly, "You are under arrest for the use of a banned object of torture. You are further accused of injuring twenty students with said object."

"Twenty one." Ron added, "Harry isn't here but she's been using it on him all year."

"Twenty one students then." Kingsley agreed.

"And threatening to kill said students." Albus added.

"Absolutely." Kingsley said.

"You can't. I'm doing exactly what Cornelius wanted me to do. We can have Potter and his friends talking about You Know Who." Delores challenged.

"Are you saying Minister Fudge wants you to kill all the students of Hogwarts?" Kingsley asked.

"Don't be stupid." She tittered and shook her head making her grey curls bounce slightly, "He only wants Potter dead. The rest have to be put in their place so they won't rebel against our authority. We must stay in control."

"Ok then we'll add conspiracy to commit murder." Kingsley added, "Do you know where we can find Harry?"

"How should I know where that miserable whelp went?" Delores raged, "Albus is probably hiding him so I can't get to him. Rest assured I will get to him."

"No I believe you'll be getting to Azkaban." Kingsley finished, "Albus how do we get her out of the suit of armor?"

"Don't know." Albus waved his wand at it and said, "I don't know how it's been animated."

"I've been activated by the school to protect the students." the suit of armor replied, "If you promise to remove her from the castle I will release her."

"I promise to arrest her on the spot and take her to the ministry for trial." Kingsley stated.

"Good enough." the armor dropped her and returned to its place.

Delores Umbridge, Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic fell in a heap on the floor. She struggled to stand and pointed her wand at Albus Dumbledore.

"You are doing this to me. You're trying to get me to give up my secrets but you won't get them." She declared madly, "Mudbloods and those who care about them will be put in their place when the Dark Lord takes over."

"Stupify." Kingsley muttered, "I thought I should do that before she incriminates herself anymore."

"Now I need a new DADA Professor." Albus sighed.

"We've needed one of those for years." Ron stated, "The only decent one we've had was Professor Lupin. The fake Moody wasn't bad if you disregard his whole trying to kill Harry thing."


	2. Chapter 2

"She didn't commit suicide so you don't get the high score." Nick pointed out, "However you did get to laugh while harassing her so there are bonus points."

"She committed political suicide." Harry pointed out.

"It was great for a first try." Nick commented, "On the whole I'll give you eighty five out of one hundred points."

"Only eighty five?" Ginny complained.

"Phase one took a long time." Nick stated, "Very cool idea making her think she was crazy and it probably helped her spill her guts on wanting you dead and all."

"Eighty Five?" Harry asked.

"I get bored easily. Do it quicker next time." Nick grinned, "Besides that's going in the record books for the best score for a first try since this group was started."

"Fine so who is next on our list?" Harry asked.

"Lucius Malfoy." Nick grinned, "This will be a true test of stealth, concealment and intrusion."

"What are we going to do, prank the Manor?" Harry asked.

"Ohhhh, good idea." Nick said, "I look forward to seeing how you manage it."

"Thanks Harry." Ginny grumbled.

"Narcissa, where is my mask?" Lucius asked as he entered the sitting room where his wife was taking tea.

"I don't know dear. Where did you have it last?" she asked not looking up from the magazine that she was looking through. It had a rather interesting article on new fashion trends that were starting this spring.

"I hung it up in the dungeon like I always do." he stated, "But it's not there."

"Maybe the elves are cleaning it?" she suggested.

"Tippy!" Lucius called angrily. A small elf popped up in front of the man, "Have any of the elves taken my mask to clean it?"

"No sir." she replied, "It was in the dungeon on its peg earlier when I was cleaning."

"Find it for me." he demanded.

"Yes sir." the elf popped away and came back a few seconds later with the mask in hand.

"Where was it?" he asked.

"On its peg Sir." she replied and waited for her punishment. Just as he swung at her the ground at her feet opened up and she dropped out of sight with a small squeak.

"What in the world?" Lucius asked looking at a black hole in the floor of the room.

"What happened dear?" Narcissa asked.

"That elf just dropped through a hole in the floor." he said, "I think she did it to avoid punishment."

The elf then came flying up out of the hole and flew across the room and landed with a thud on the couch. She jumped to her feet and ran to stand by Lucius.

"Make this hole go away." he demanded.

"I can't Sir. It's not elf magic that made it." she said after trying several things.

"What do you mean you can't?" He took a swing at her again but the hole moved and he fell into it.

Narcissa screamed as her husband disappeared. The hole then lifted off the floor and floated above the ground about ten feet and then flipped over. Lucius came tumbling out and landed in a heap on the floor. A piece of paper floated out behind him and then the hole disappeared.

Narcissa rushed over to her husband and helped him untangle himself. They peered at the note and gasped as they read it.

**Dearest Lucy

I hope this letter finds you in ill health. But if not just know that you soon will be. We are coming after you. And you will lose either your sanity or your life… maybe both.

Yours Truly

Instead of a signature it had a skull and crossbones at the bottom of the note. The skulls mouth was moving and they could hear the eerie laughter coming from the letter. Lucius pulled his wand and burned the note but the laughing continued.

"Stop laughing." Lucius yelled standing and drawing his wand and looking around, "Stop laughing or I'll hex you."

"You have to find me first Lucy." the voice said and the laughter started up again echoing through the house.

"Stop calling me that." Lucius screamed.

"Lucy, Lucy, Lucy." The voice said, "Maybe I should say Lucy I'm home."

Lucius started throwing hexes in every direction. The elf popped away hoping to avoid getting hit by a stray spell. Narcissa was cowering on the floor near his feet trying to avoid notice by the voice. It didn't take long before the room was in shambles. Lucius paused from his curses to see if he had hit anything.

"Shame on you Lucy." the voice said, "You've destroyed Narcissa's favorite room. You must be punished for this. Maybe I should go to your study next."

Lucius took off running to his study and saw his fire whisky floating in the air near the bar. He lunged and the bottle flew across the room and smashed against the wall. Followed by the rest of the stock in the room.

"Naughty, naughty." the voice said, "Drinking is bad for you."

Lucius was just able to see the form of a small man floating above the fire place holding the last bottle. He watched as the little man laughed and did a flip in the air and threw the bottle at the fire place.

"Narcissa, it's a poltergeist." Lucius yelled, "Call the Ministry."

Narcissa did as requested and soon Ministry people were showing up. They were all through the house trying to stop the poltergeist from his rampage. No one was successful in containing him so they called for more help. Even a few Aurors and Arthur Weasley showed up.

"Oh looky, looky." the voice chimed as they reached the study again, "I spy with my little eye some place really fun to play."

With that the poltergeist created a black hole like the one Lucius had fallen into earlier, stuck out its tongue, flipped onto its head and dove down through the floor. The black hole then disappeared leaving a group of astounded people behind.

"No, not there, stay out." Lucius yell. Forgetting just who was in the room with him he ran to the fire place and pulled down on a sconce and the floor opened to reveal a set of stairs. He immediately started down the stairs.

Back at the top the Aurors kept everyone else in the study while they followed down the stairs. When they reached the dungeon it was in complete disarray. Potions were being smashed against the wall devices of torture were flying through the air and Lucius' death eater robes and mask were dancing the waltz around the room. The Aurors stopped in the door and stared in disbelief for a few minutes before they found Lucius.

"Give that back it's mine." Lucius screamed from the corner where he was trying to wrestle something out of the poltergeist's grip.

"Is all this stuff yours Lucy?" the little man asked.

"Yes now leave it alone." he yelled.

"Even that black dress with the mask?" it asked.

"Yes and its robes not a dress." he was still tugging on the item they were fighting over.

"Do you wear it often?" it continued its questions.

"Only when the Dark Lord calls me." he finally wrenched the item away from the poltergeist and sat it on a table, "Now leave."

"After one more question. Are you under the imperious curse?" it asked.

"No of course not. I've been able to throw that since I was fifteen." he said, "Now leave."

"Ok, bye bye. I had fun playing with your toys." it cackled as it swooped back up the stairs, "All yours boys."

Lucius turned to see seven Aurors standing on the stairs. Kingsley Shacklebolt was the first to move. He pointed his wand and said, "Lucius Malfoy you are under arrest for… too many things to count right now."

Lucius collapsed on the floor.

"I can call the Healers." Arthur suggested from behind the Aurors.

"Good idea." Another said as they watched all the items zooming around the room slow and lightly float back into their places.

The Order meeting that took place later that evening was filled with laughter. Kingsley and Arthur had to take turns explaining it all. Sirius was laughing so hard he almost fell out of his chair.

"By the way Sirius, I have a surprise for you." Kingsley said, "I wanted you to see it first but I had to take it to the ministry, it had another appointment. Albus did you bring your pensieve?"

"Of course can we all come?"

"What?" Sirius asked.

Kingsley pulled out a memory and placed it into the pensieve that Albus had sat on the table. Sirius, Remus and Albus went first followed by Tonks, Molly and a few others.

They found themselves in the dungeon of Malfoy Manor with three other Aurors watching as employees catalogued all the illegal items in the room. The visitors had just all settled when they heard a voice from above.

"Kingsley, you need to get up here."

Kingsley turned and moved quickly. When he reached the study he found two of the other Aurors standing near a box wrapped in Christmas paper. It had decorated trees on it with a St. Nick on a broom flying around them like an obstacle course. It had a huge green bow on top and a card.

"We don't find any dark magic on it." one of the others said.

He did a few spells himself and then picked up the card.

**Dear Kingsley,

I found this late Christmas present for Snuffles. I know he'll like it. He enjoys chew toys so much. Don't let him tear this one up though it has an appointment at Azkaban.

**Hugs and kisses

Kingsley tore open the package hoping he understood the note. Inside was a rat with a silver paw; it was tied up with another green ribbon.

"By Merlin." Kingsley grinned, "I do believe this little guy is an illegal animagus."

"What makes you say that?"

"The note says he has an appointment in Azkaban. That's the only thing I can think of." The memory ended and a happy, laughing group landed back in Grimmauld place.

"So who do you think did this?" Albus asked wiping his eyes on his sleeve; tears of laughter were still running down his cheeks.

"It looked like peeves but he can't leave the school can he?" Arthur asked.

"No he can't." Albus agreed, "A new one?"

"Or someone with a weird sense of humor and a grudge." Kingsley stated.

"Harry?" Tonks suggested. Everyone paused for a moment thinking about it.

"No couldn't be." Kingsley dismissed the idea, "Too many things going on at once. Not to mention he is currently missing. He would be at school if he was free to roam around."

"Ginny is with him." Tonks added.

"Even then I think it was too much for a couple of teens." Kingsley said, "It would have taken a lot of power and control."

"Harry is powerful." Sirius said still jumping around with a huge grin on his face.

"So is Ginny." Arthur added, "But there were too many people for an invisibility cloak. We never saw who was doing it or if it was a new poltergeist who was controlling it. His questions were too good, too direct and just what the Aurors needed to hear. Not what a poltergeist normally acts like."

"He would be enjoying it if he knew." Molly sighed, "You know he gave the twins the money from the tri-wizard tournament so they can start their shop."

"I didn't know you knew that." Arthur said surprised.

"I know more about what the kids get up to then I let on." Molly grinned, "The twins suddenly had all the money they needed and when it came time to get school supplies Harry needed to go to Gringotts. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out."

"Harry is going to be so surprised." Bill snickered, "He told the twins under no circumstances to let you know he gave them the money. He doesn't want you mad at him."

"I won't be mad at him." she said, "I'd like the twins to be successful businessmen. I'm just not sure a joke shop is the way to go about it. He's given them a way to get good business practice in. If it fails he's the only one who loses and he didn't want that money anyway. Tell that to any of them and I'll deny it."

"Now I see where the twins get it." Sirius stage whispered to Remus.

"The trial is tomorrow." Kingsley said, "Don't come near it. If I were you I would just turn myself in to Albus after the truth comes out."

"Just one more day and I'm out of here." Sirius yelled gleefully.

"Two." Albus said, "It won't be in the papers until tomorrow evening and you should wait until the next morning to try to contact me. I'll be late getting in tomorrow."

"I'll keep him under control." Remus promised, "I don't want him out too early and have someone accidentally hex him."

"Auror Shacklebolt." Albus called from his spot in the Wizengamot, "Good job on apprehending another Death Eater. He had gotten away with that for far too long." The room that was filled with Wizengamot and media burst into applause for him.

"Thank you Sir. I do have one more item that came up but it's a new case even though it was introduced at the crime scene in Malfoy Manor." Kingsley said after the room had quieted back down.

"Alright what do you have?" Albus indicated for Kingsley to continue.

"As the items in the dungeon were being catalogued I was called up to deal with another problem." Kingsley told the story that Albus had seen in the pensieve the evening before, "From that note I deduced that the rat in the cage was either an illegal animagus or a forced one. We have brought him here and need to transform him and have him questioned under veritaserum."

"Please proceed." Albus stated.

Kingsley brought out the rat in the cage and stunned it. He placed it in the interrogation chair and forced it back into its human form. When it was done he chained the man into the seat, gave him the truth serum and woke him. Next the questioning began.

The only question they got to ask was his name because Peter spilled his guts. He told them everything he knew. He gave out names of Death Eaters. He told about their hiding spots. He gave details about planned raids. He pointed out sympathizers. He gave the names connected to every murder that he had seen, heard about or helped with. He knew what had happened to many people who had just disappeared. He even told about pranks he had played in school. He told how he, Sirius and James had become illegal animagus to help Moony. Thankfully he didn't say who Moony was or what Sirius' animagus form was. But his biggest moment came when he revealed that he was the secret keeper for the Potters and that Sirius Black was innocent of all charges.

"I have one more question for you Peter." Albus said, "Why did you tell us all that when all we asked was your name?"

"They told me to." Peter shivered.

"Who?"

"The ones who found me." Peter said, "They tortured me and promised more if I didn't tell you everything I knew. I can't think of anything else so will you keep them away from me?"

"Who are they?"

"I don't know but they make even the Dark Lord look mild." Peter shivered again.

"Did they use the torture curse on you?" Rita asked from the media section. Albus frowned at her and silenced the media group that surrounded her.

"I wish they would have. It would have been nicer." Peter whimpered, "I won't speak of it. It was too horrible."

"A new dark spell?" Albus asked concerned.

"Not dark magic." Peter was shaking so hard the chains were rattling, "Pranks. The worst ones I've ever seen. I swear I'm going to lose my mind if I even think about it."

"How many people?" Kingsley asked.

"Two, a man and a woman." Peter whispered, "What he doesn't think of she does. They were dressed in black from head to toe; I couldn't even see their faces. They hardly made a sound. When they first attacked me they were running on air two feet off the ground. They made no sound what so ever, I ran for as long as I could, but I couldn't find my way out."

"Where did they have you?" Albus asked.

"A maze and there was no way out. No sounds at all until they started laughing." Peter was crying.

"They put a rat through a maze." Kinsley grinned, "I've heard that muggles do that in labs for some reason or another."

"Was he captured by muggles?" Albus asked.

"I doubt it. I was told the package just popped into the room like it had a portkey attached." Kingsley stated.

"Please put me somewhere safe." Peter pleaded, "I don't want to go back into the maze again."

"How about a nice cell in Azkaban?" Kingsley asked as they unchained him to take him away.

"Sounds good." Peter said, "As long as they can't get me I'll do anything."

"I don't think they can." Albus said.

"Can you guarantee it?' Peter asked.

"No I can't but…" Albus didn't get to finish because Peter grabbed the wand of the closest Auror and tried to perform the killing curse on himself. He was stopped before he could accomplish it.


	3. Chapter 3

"Ok for Lucius you get ninety points." Nick said, "It was quick, funny and he nearly died of a heart attack."

"My favorite part was the hole." Ginny said, "How on earth did you think that up?"

"Well I didn't get to see a lot of muggle cartoon's when I was a kid but I did get to catch a few when I was at Ms. Figg's." Harry said, "Several characters used that hole. Another one I liked was when they would paint a scene on the wall and walk into it. The bad guy would just run into the wall."

"I always liked that one too." Nick agreed, "But we've never been able to duplicate that. Your next goal has been set. We have heard that the Dork Lord is going to attack Hogwarts. He's found out you are missing and he thinks he can win while you are gone."

"Wait what score did we get for Peter?" Harry asked.

"He wasn't your assignment. But if he was you would have gotten the high score." Nick grinned.

"He killed himself?" Harry asked dejected.

"Tried to after spilling his guts to the Wizengamot. I'm still giving you the high score because I think he would have missed if they hadn't stopped him." Nick grinned, "That maze really drove him crazy. Your God father is a free man."

"Yes." Harry punched his fist into the air. Then he turned and grabbed Ginny around the waist in a big hug and swung her around. When he sat her feet back on the ground he leaned in and kissed her. He hadn't planned to do it. It just seemed like the most natural thing in the world. And Ginny kissed him back. When they finally came up for air they were still holding each other close.

"Wow." they both said at the same time. Then they grinned at each other and started to lean in again.

"Wait!" Nick interrupted them and they turned toward him with aggravated looks on their faces, "Sorry but it's time for you to go back."

"Really?" they asked.

"Yep, you have to be there before the big dork gets there. You get to keep all the cool gear. When you're ready I'll open the portal and you'll be at the Great Hall before dinner starts." Nick grinned at the two teens and gave them all the details they would need.

"Aren't you coming too?" Harry asked.

"No I can't this is your fight, I was only allowed to help a little." Nick sighed.

"Who is allowing to you help us a little?" Harry asked.

"You are."

"What?"

"Right now you are in your future life. The year is 2025. You two started the laughing Ninjas during your fifth year after you were gone four months. You came back just in time to defeat the big dork." Nick grinned.

"So you are teaching me so that I can grow up to teach you?" Harry asked.

"Yep."

"Weird."

"Definitely." Nick said, "So was that your first kiss?"

"The first time I've kissed Ginny." Harry said, "I kissed Cho Chang just before Christmas. Oh no I forgot, I'm dating Cho and you're dating Michael."

"Not for long." Ginny grinned.

"Don't worry about that." Nick said, "They found comfort in each other while you were gone."

"Wow that didn't take long." Ginny snickered.

"They've been secretly dating for about three and a half months." Nick nodded his head.

"Oh I've got an idea. It won't even be painful." Ginny grinned then gave Nick a hug, "Bye see you later."

"Bye." he grinned, "I'll see you in a few minutes for dinner."

Nick opened the portal and the two teens stepped into the Great Hall. The room was empty save McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout, Dumbledore and Sirius Black who were gathered for a short meeting before dinner. This was to be Sirius' introduction to the school as the new teacher for DADA, the substitute they had been using since Umbridge had left was ready to leave. A flash of light caught the attention of everyone in the hall. When it dimmed they could see two people walking hand in hand. They were dressed in black body suits that covered everything but their eyes and they had bulging backpacks on their backs. They walked up to the group and spoke.

"We're back." the drew out the word back in a sing song manner and then pulled the hoods off showing themselves to be Harry and Ginny.

Sirius grabbed both of them up in hugs. When he let them go he pulled away and put a hand on each of their shoulders, "Where have you been?"

"Can we talk about this in the Headmaster's office after dinner?" Harry asked.

"Ok." Albus said, "Take a seat I can't wait to see their faces."

"Actually, they can't know we're here yet." Harry said, "Something will be happening very soon and we can't let the wrong people know we're back."

They pulled their hoods back on and wave their wands. The two disappeared but the five adults heard Ginny say, "We'll wait in the Headmaster's office after we get some food from the elves."

"Come back and I'll give you the password." Albus called.

"Don't need it." Harry replied.

Dinner seemed to take forever. Sirius was contemplating just getting up and leaving. He hadn't been able to eat he was so nervous about Harry and Ginny. Those outfits they were wearing reminded him of what Peter had said at the trial. He was very anxious to know what was going on. He wasn't the only one with thoughts along this line. He shared them with McGonagall and Dumbledore. The five Professors left as soon as they could and made their way to the Headmaster's office. They found Ginny and Harry eating and laughing in the comfy chairs in front of the Headmaster's desk. For the next several hours the two teens gave their professors an overview of what they had been doing. Including the training exercises that got rid of Umbridge, Malfoy and Pettigrew. They told them nothing about their last few minutes before coming home.

"I feel awful for laughing at their expense." Minerva chuckled as they finished the tale.

"I know but it's in our rules for life." Harry said, "I'm going to reform the DA into a new group called the Laughing Ninja's and we'll have six rules to live by." Harry explained the rules and what exactly they meant.

"So you got the high score on Peter even though he didn't actually die." Sirius was grinning widely, "I like it I want to join."

"Good." Harry grinned, "But first we have another problem. Our teacher informed us that Voldemort is aware I've gone missing and he's decided to attack hoping he can win the war while someone else has me out of the picture."

"When and where?" Albus asked.

"Here in three days." Harry said, "We need to let him attack so I want to evacuate the school of anyone who doesn't want to fight against Voldemort. And we can't let anyone know we're back or he won't attack."

"How confident are you in this teacher of yours? And how did he get this information?" Albus asked.

"I have complete confidence in him and he's in a good position to get intelligence on this issue." Harry said evasively.

"I want to talk to him about this." Sirius said.

"Can't, we have no way to reach him." Harry said.

When they continued to press Ginny stopped them all by saying, "Listen. We were taken into the future and trained by someone we train in the future. This is reliable info and we're going to act with or without you."

"I'm sorry Harry but you can't kill him yet. There are few things you have to do first. You see he made these things…" Albus started.

"Called Horcruxes. Yes I know. I was one too and they've all been taken care of." Harry said.

"But… How…" Albus was flabbergasted.

"The place we stayed employed a dementor. His job was to suck the soul out of the pieces." Harry said, "Ginny and I came and got the pieces and the dementor sucked the soul out of it. The only scary one was the one in me."

"They shielded everything on him except his scar. The dementor came in and sucked it out and then left." Ginny said, "I was terrified that it was going to try to take Harry's too. But it was quite well behaved."

"How many did you get and what were they?" Albus asked.

"We have destroyed seven. Me, a snake, and a ring then Slytherin's Locket, Hufflepuff's cup and Ravenclaw's diadem. Of course I destroyed the diary years ago." he replied

"Ok I know where the ring was and the diary, the snake and the locket." Albus said, "So where were the others?"

"You knew the locket was at Grimmauld place?" Harry asked, "Why didn't you get it?"

"Grimmauld place? I thought it was in a cave." Albus said.

"Oh so you don't know about Regulas." he said.

"What about Reg?" Sirius asked.

"He found out the Dork Lord made a horcrux and tried to stop him. He died getting the locket to your house." Harry said, "He was for the light in the end."

"Wow." Sirius said, "He came to his senses. I never knew."

"The cup and diadem?" Albus pushed.

"Right the cup was at Gringotts in Bellatrix's vault and the diadem was here." Harry said.

"It was a good thing they had those portal things we could just pop into the right room grab it and then right back out." Ginny added, "Since none of them could come here we had to get them on our own. The ring was the toughest one. Lots of really dark magic around it. The cup we grabbed it the soul was sucked out and then we put it back so they won't know we did anything to it."

"Now the plans for dropping the dork dude." Harry said laughing evilly.

"You are scaring me." Sirius shivered.

"All I want to do is scare Volde." Harry said.

"And we have to make sure we don't laugh ourselves to death." Ginny said.

Albus called the order together the next morning, which included all the Weasley's except Ron and the twins who were still in school. He insisted they hold off interrogating Harry and Ginny until after the meeting. They began planning for the attack. Harry was not happy with the way they were doing things so he stepped in.

"Wait, we're going about this all wrong."

"Do you think you can do better boy?" Moody asked.

"Yes obviously or I wouldn't have interrupted." He said, "All the moves you're planning are right in line with the way you always do things. He'll counter that at every turn. Besides you're not taking into account the dementors or any other dark creatures he might have."

"The dementors are all at Azkaban." Moody pointed out.

"Are you sure they are all there?" Harry asked, "And if they've turned on the guards and sucked out all of their souls how long would it take you to find out?"

"We have guard changes every eight hours." Moody said.

"I know, so does everyone else." Harry said, "All he has to do is wait for the guards to change and then they have eight hours to get here and kill us all before anyone would know different. Even if you change at random times you're not safe. With as many spies as there are in the Ministry he'd know the change in probably ten minutes tops."

"We'll be back in three hours." Ginny said, "With fresh ideas."

With that Ginny and Harry pulled on their hoods and vanished from sight. Harry's voice called "Sirius why don't you fill them in on our adventures while we're gone. Professor when you get called to the hospital don't panic."

"What did he mean by that?" Molly asked. Shrugs were the only answer she got.

Sirius started the tale after the door opened and closed on its own. Harry and Ginny slipped through the school until they reached the Gryffindor tower. They were lucky that Neville was just entering the room when they arrived. Following him in they made their way up to the fifth year boys dorm which was empty except for Neville. Harry pushed the door shut behind him and put up several security charms. While he did this Ginny appeared before Neville who yelled and jumped back pulling his want as he did.

Ginny uncovered her face and said, "It's ok Neville it's just Harry and I."

"You're back?" He asked, "How do I know it's you?"

"I started the DA after you helped us find the Room of Requirement." Harry said becoming visible and pulling off his hood.

"Are you ok? What happened to you? Where did you go?" Neville asked in rapid fire.

"Whoa, you're hanging around Hermione to much mate." Harry grinned, "Speaking of which I need her, Ron and the twins. We may want to get Luna too. I'll answer all your questions when we get them all together."

"You want to meet in the DA room?" Neville asked.

"Good idea." Ginny nodded, "We'll go ahead and set up the room. Get those five discreetly and meet us there. No one else can know we're back. So don't tell any of them why just get them there."

"No problem. We've kept up the DA while you were gone. I can just call a meeting to discuss our next class." Neville said, "Hannah Abbott is the only one whose been helping to lead that's not in the group. Can I get her too?"

"Sure, as long as you think she's completely trustworthy." Harry agreed.

"Do you think you can get them there in ten minutes?" Ginny said.

"Yes I think so." Neville said thoughtfully, "I don't think anyone is in detention."

Harry and Ginny pulled on their hoods and Harry started taking down the security spells then they vanished.

"After you." Harry whispered in Neville's ear.

Neville found the twins in their dorm, "Meeting in ten. Find Ron and Hermione. I'll get Hannah and Luna."

Twin nods were the reply and they began to clean up their things. Neville left heading to Ravenclaw which was closest. With Luna in tow they made their way to Hufflepuff. The twins found Ron and Hermione easy enough. They were in the library and quickly put their things away to follow the twins. The door was already in place when the seven teens met there and Neville reached for the door.

"Wait the door was already here." Hermione said, "This could be a trap."

"No we're meeting someone." Neville said pushing the door open and walking in.

The others followed warily and were shocked when the door slammed behind them. They all turned to the door pulling their wands as they went.

"You should have had them pulled before you walked into the room." a girls voice called from behind them. Again they all turned to find two people dressed all in black. The only thing that could be seen was their eyes.

"Stop scaring me like that." Neville said, "It was bad enough earlier."

"Take it easy Nev. This is fun." the other one spoke. It was a male voice but familiar.

"Just take the hoods off already." Neville said picking a spot on one of the sofas. The room was very similar to the Gryffindor common room

"What and ruin the fun?" the girl spoke again and the twins were sure they knew that voice too.

"Who are you?" Fred asked.

"That's for us to know and you to find out." the boy chuckled.

"Harry!" Hermione yelled.

"Right in one." Harry pulled off his hood followed by Ginny.

"Wait." Ron yelled as the group began to move towards Harry and Ginny, "Who of this group found this room the first time and what did we use it for."

"Neville." Ginny said.

"DA." Harry added. None of them moved so Ginny decided they needed more of a nudge.

"The secret to telling the twins apart rests in the freckles." Ginny added.

"Ok." Fred yelled, "No more details."

The group of teens exchanges hugs and then took seats. Hermione started in with questions but didn't get very far when Neville put his hand over her mouth.

"Thanks." Harry grinned while Hermione glared at him, "Ok Neville we promised we'd answer your questions. The first was are we ok?"

"Yes we are both fine. Probably in better health than when we left. We are definitely in better shape." Ginny stated, "Second question was what happened to us."

"We were kidnapped by a group of ninja assassins." Harry replied, "First thing they tried to do was bury us in a box that they filled with dirt. The last question was where did you go?"

"To the year 2025." Ginny said, "But I'm not sure of the location or exact dates we were there."

"Why?" Hermione finally got to ask a question.

"We were trained to become ninja assassins." Harry answered, "The first test to see if you're smart enough to join is rather odd. They drop you into a box just big enough to move in a little then they start filling it up with dirt. If you allow yourself to be buried then they just send you back home."

"So you just kill people now?" Fred asked.

"No, only the bad guys." Ginny said, "That's rule number one."

"How many rules do you have?" George asked.

"Six." Harry replied, "Basically its get rid of the bad people any way you can, no unforgivables. Pranks are fine but for the bad guys prank them to death. Literally. We'll go over the list when we begin to train you. You'll have to agree to the rules or you can't become a Laughing Ninja."

"Isn't that a contradiction?" Hermione asked.

"We laugh silently." Ginny said, "Most of the time."

"You're joking." Ron said with a half smile.

"No we aren't." Harry looked at him in all seriousness, "We have fun but we aren't playing around. You remember what happened to Umbridge?"

"Yes that was great." Ron said, "How do you know about it?"

"We did it." Ginny said, "It was our first training exercise."

"But how did you do it if you were in the year 2025?" Hannah asked.

"They moved back and forth." Luna supplied, "The others couldn't come here so they brought Harry and Ginny to them and trained them on what they needed and then sent them back to do it."

"Right." Harry nodded.

"Did you teach yourself?" Luna asked. The rest of the group looked at her like she was crazy.

"No but our other selves were there." Ginny said, "I saw the older version of Harry several times."

"Is he still hot?" Luna asked.

"Yes."

"Lucky you."

"Very."

"What?" Fred, George and Ron asked together.


	4. Chapter 4

"It's obvious they're together." Luna said.

"But he's dating Cho and she's dating Michael." Hannah said.

"No they've been dating each other for a little over three months." Luna stated.

"Wait a minute." Ron said, "What are you talking about?"

"Cho and Michael were comforting each other because their boyfriend and girlfriend were gone." Harry said indicating himself and Ginny, "They ended up figuring out that they like each other more than they liked us. Which was fine with us since I figured out I like Ginny more than Cho."

"We all know I've always like Harry more than any other so no surprise from me." Ginny grinned.

"Do Cho and Michael know this yet?" Hermione asked.

"No." Harry grinned, "We only found out about them earlier today."

"So when did you get together?" Ron asked.

"Earlier today." Ginny answered, "It was when we found out about Peter."

"Is this what the meetings about then?" Hannah asked.

"Only partially." Harry answered, "What we really need to talk about is Voldemort. He's going to attack in three days. We need a plan of attack back."

"You need to tell Dumbledore." Hermione stood ready to run.

"He knows." Ginny shook her head, "The Orders been called and they're planning but…"

"It sucks." Harry finished, "Nothing new, all very predictable. We told them we would have some fresh ideas in three hours and we've spent almost a third of that getting to here."

"So you want to do some planning." George was rubbing his hands together.

"Yes but not for Volde yet." Harry said.

"First we need a plausible excuse for the seven of you to be absent for the next few days." Ginny said, "So here's what's happening." Ginny outlined the plan to get them out. A few questions were asked but they were covered.

"But can you do that?" Hermione asked, "That's really advanced stuff."

"We've done it before." Ginny said, "Malfoy was dealing with our poltergeist for several hours. Kingsley thought he was being controlled but in truth he was our creation that disappeared when we were done with him."

"I guess you can do this but when?" Fred asked.

"It's already in place. Lunch is in twenty." Harry instructed, "Go prepare."

The seven others jumped up and started to run off. But Ginny stopped them, "Act like nothing is going on or you'll give it away."

"Sorry right." Fred said, "Act like you're doing nothing is the first rule of pranking."

"Closely followed by don't think about what you're doing or Hermione will figure it out." George said.

Hermione smacked his arm as they left the room. Hannah and Luna went straight back to their dorms but the other four had to stagger their entrance back into the Gryffindor common room. While they were gone Harry and Ginny went to talk to Madam Pomfrey.

When the students came down to dinner nothing looked amiss. Near the end of the meal thirty students collapsed. They were levitated into the hospital by students and teachers. After a few minutes Madam Pomfrey had a diagnosis.

"A potion was put into their food. There are two that are very similar. If mixed for bad purpose they will be coming down with a very contagious flu. Otherwise they'll just feel sick today. I won't know if it's the flu for three days. They'll have to stay in a quarantined area."

"Are they contagious now?" Albus asked.

"Not yet. If they are contagious it will start in twenty four hours. But no sigh of it will show for seventy two hours." She stated, "Best to be precautious."

"Very well, I'll be in my office please let me know." Albus turned with a sigh wondering what else could happen.

Ten minutes later the order was all in the room again and they were discussing what had happened. As they talked Moody kept glancing at his watch.

"Do you have someplace to be Alastar?" Albus asked.

"Potter said he'd be back in three hours. Times almost up." Moody growled.

"What says I'm not back?" Harry voice called but no one could pin point where he had said it from.

"Stop playing games." Moody continued to grumble, "We don't have time for this."

"But we do." Ginny's voice stated, "You need to know we aren't armatures at this."

Moody went to stand up but when he was all the way up he found himself on the other side of the room.

"What? How did you do that?" he asked.

"Tricks and cleverness." Ginny giggled, "Pranks and fun."

"It's the way we get it done." Harry finished the rhyme.

"I know that sounds a bit preschool." Ginny started.

"But how do you feel about being beaten by preschoolers." Harry laughed.

"We're supposed to laugh silently Harry." Ginny admonished.

"Only most of the time." Harry replied, "It's ok because he knows we're laughing at him because he won't beat us."

On the other side of the room Bill dropped to the floor followed by Charlie who was in the middle of the room. Kingsley threw some stunners where he thought the magic to take down Bill had come from.

"Missed me, missed me now you got to kiss me." Ginny sang.

Next Tonks fell chair and all into a black hole. Percy was wrapped up in what looked like a sack of some kind.

"Percy you couldn't fight your way out of a wet paper bag." Ginny giggled as Percy was indeed doused with what looked like water.

Albus was the next one attacked. The sorting hat dropped off its shelf and over its eyes. It actually grew to cover his whole body. He was also stuck to his chair but no one else could tell that. They were all on their feet trying to stun Harry and Ginny. They didn't want to be beaten by two teenagers. Tonks was spit out of her hole and smacked the wall and stuck. Remus and Sirius were next to find themselves sucked into the hole but they fell out of a duplicate hole that was on the ceiling but instead of falling they were stuck to the ceiling. Everyone else was stunned, tied up or in some other way out of action. Moody was the only one standing.

"Ha you couldn't get me." he said shaking a fist.

"Stop playing Harry and show them what happened." Ginny scolded as she appeared sitting on the Headmaster's desk, "But let me just get Albus' eyes uncovered first."

Ginny flicked her wand at the hat and it flew back up to its shelf shrinking as it went. The part of the group that was still conscious was shocked to see the Headmaster was gagged and bound to the chair. He still had a twinkle in his eye. But a look of confusion took over his face when he saw that Moody still wasn't caught.

When the gag came off he asked, "So what did they do to you?"

"Nothing." Minerva said, "He's still standing."

"Actually Moody's over there." Moody pointed to the wall and a body wrapped in ropes and gagged was stuck to the wall, "When he disappeared he was replaced with me."

"Harry in polyjuice." Sirius called from the ceiling.

"Nope." Harry appeared by the door.

"Who then?" Minerva asked.

Ginny flicked her wand and untied McGonagall, "Go touch him and tell me what you think."

Minerva stood and walked over. She touched his arm and it felt real. She was able to make him move but when she tried to stun him nothing happened.

"It's called a solid illusion." Harry said and then flicked his wand and made it disappear, "He was programmed not to fall to any spells. But he can be spelled to do many things. My favorite is when he duplicates after a killing curse hits him. He can't throw spells though. Otherwise we could have an army of illusions fighting the death eaters."

"Can you get me down now?" Sirius asked.

" Sure." Harry and Ginny set about restoring order to the room. Moody was the last one they released.

"Finally." he grumbled.

"We held you until last for a reason." Harry stated.

"Why's that?"

"I don't trust you not to hex my back when I'm letting the others go." he replied.

"Good." Moody clumped to his seat, "I would have."

"Know your enemy." Harry said, "Or in this case the person you want to impress."

"Ok so what's your ideas." he asked, "More like this?"

"Yes and more. First we need to bring in the others." Harry said walking to the door and opening it.

Seven teens entered the room. Albus stood and said, "Harry they can't be here. They're sick."

"No, Poppy's in on it." Ginny said, "We put sleeping draught in everyone else's pumpkin juice."

"But these seven just had a light knockout spell that was remedied with a finite." Harry said, "We've left solid illusions in their place in quarantine."

"The best thing is it takes none of our magic to sustain them." Ginny grinned, hopping down from the desk and joining the others, "The ambient magic that is in Hogwarts sustains them. And since these don't need to do anything but lay there it takes very little."

"Glad to know." Albus said, "We were ready to investigate the Slytherins as they were the only ones not hurt."

"That was by the plan." Harry said, "It won't take long for the other houses to suspect them and they will begin to keep a close eye on them for us. They'll report any suspect behavior to their head of house. We'll be free to plan and fight."

"I don't think you need to be fighting." Molly said, "You are all too young."

"Mum you're going to need all the help you can get. We won't all be fighting like you most of us will be in the background setting off the pranks as needed." Ginny pointed out.

"Most of you, what about the others." Molly asked suspiciously.

"I'll be facing off with Voldemort eventually." Harry said, "And we're going to try and make that happen just as soon as possible. We don't want anything to happen to anyone. First thing we need to do is set up some defenses."

"How are we to do that if we don't want certain groups to see us?" Bill asked.

"This is the time to brew potions and practice spells." Ginny said, "Actually placing the pranks will wait until the last day. On that day Albus will come forward with evidence that a Slytherin is the culprit behind tonight's prank. The elves will attest to the fact that one of them added a potion to several jugs of pumpkin juice tonight before dinner. None of them could identify him because he was using a charm that blurs the face."

"Why would the elves say that?" Minerva asked.

"Because that's what happened." Harry said, "I followed the Slytherin and cleared away the jugs he used and put new ones with my own potion. I used the same ones he did and the elves didn't see me."

"What did he put in them?" Albus asked.

"The flu potion that Poppy told you about." Ginny answered.

"Why didn't the elves stop them or change it themselves?" Charlie asked.

"Mild confusion charm." Harry said.

"How could you tell which ones it was and are you sure you got them all?" Albus asked.

"I'm sure." Harry said, "I added a marker and antidote to his potion before he added it to any of the juice. All you have to do now is get all students to the Great Hall to reveal the culprit. While in that meeting anyone who is not old enough to stay and fight will be stunned and portkeyed to a safe location."

"Ok you have them covered. Now what are we going to do with the real problem?" Moody grumbled.

For the next several hours they went over just what would happen when Voldemort arrived. Moody was shocked at the complete plan and back up plans that Harry had been able to pull together during the meeting. All of the teens had added ideas; some of the scariest were from Hermione. The adults in the room were no slouches either and once they understood where Harry wanted to go with it they added just as many. The only one in the group not laughing when they were done was Moody.

"I hope you know what you're talking about." He grumbled.

"We took care of Umbridge, Malfoy and Pettigrew." Harry said, "They have no idea who it was. The Order has made it plain that it wasn't them."

"But what if someone takes your idea and applies it for bad?" he asked.

"That's why rule number one is so important." Harry said, "They can't learn our techniques without absolute adherence to rule one. It's the only strict rule; the others are mainly guidelines for scoring."

"Alright." Moody interrupted, "Everyone has their assignments let's go."

The day arrived and Albus called for all students to be in the Great Hall at lunch. The Head of houses did role call for each house. Anyone not in attendance was found and brought in. Only those in the hospital were allowed to not participate. As it was, the only people in the hospital were the ones who thought they might have the flue from the potion. Albus started his announcement by clapping his hands. All Slytherins and most students from fifth year down disappeared in a blue flash. The only exception was Harry's group of friends.

"What just happened?" a Ravenclaw seventh year asked.

"They were all moved to a safe location." Albus said, "Voldemort will be attacking the castle later today and you are being offered a spot to fight. If you don't want to fight you will join the rest of your housemates. Those who wish to stay and fight please stand and move to the front of the room. The rest just stay where you are and you'll be sent off."

Most of the group stayed. Of those that were leaving one asked, "Why didn't that group of fifth years go?" No answer was given as they were whisked away.

"Gather round. I have a bit of a surprise." Albus called a little louder, "Are you here?"

"We're here." a male voice sounded from above. The students looked up and saw two people clothed in black from head to toe. The only thing they could see was their eyes. They were sitting in the rafters up in the illusion of the sky. One stood on air and grabbed the hand of the other. Hand in hand the two walked down from the ceiling like they were on stairs.

"Who are they?" asked one student as they watched them walk through the air.

"The ones who will defeat Voldemort." Albus smiled warmly.

"What?" the group at large asked.

"We are trained professionals in our field." the male voice said.

"Sure we are." the girls voice sounded sarcastic. The twins chuckled.

"Don't breed panic." the male said.

"That's your job. I'm the voice of reason." She stated.

"Reason?" he asked, "When are you the voice of reason."

"In our planning." she chided, "I always keep it reasonable."

"You make grown men cry when you plan." He stated.

"That's the target. He's crying because he knows he done for when I scheme." she laughed.

"True, very true." he replied and his feet finally hit the floor.

"What's taking so long?" Moody said gruffly from the door, "We need to get this show on the road."

Albus chuckled, "Give us a few more minutes."

"You two quit with the show and get them moving." Moody almost smiled. It actually made him look even scarier than ever before, "I really can't wait to see what you have planned for him."

"Keep your pants on Moody." the male said, "We have to stage this just right."

"Hurry up."

"Fine." the female said, "First we need to clear the air. Cho, Michael congratulations I think you make a great couple. No hard feelings on my part."

"Mine either." with that the two pulled off their hoods to reveal Harry and Ginny.

"Oh." Cho and Michael said together. They glanced at each other and then back to the other two, "How long have you known?"

"A few days. But not a problem really." Harry said, "I realized I liked Ginny a few days ago and that is when we were told about you."

"You don't mind?" Cho asked.

"Nope I'm fine." Harry answered and gave Ginny a hug.

Cho grinned and turned and kissed Michael. He returned her grin and held her close for a moment. Their moment was short lived when the twins started talking.

"So Harry what do you need us to do first?" they asked in unison.

"Get the full cauldrons." Ginny instructed, "Hermione and Ron get about ten empty ones."

"Luna and Neville you guys need to get to gathering the right plants." Harry added.

"Right." they answered together.

"What about the rest of us?" Cho asked.

"You need to hear this first." Ginny smiled rubbing her hands together the way the twins do when they have a brilliant idea.

"At Christmas we were… Kidnapped by Ninja Assassins." Harry said, "They weren't trying to kill us, they were planning on training us."

"We've been training for the last four months." Ginny stated brightly, "We are the ones that chased out Umbridge."

"Really?" the group asked.

"They did." Albus answered, "I had no knowledge of what was going on."

"Did anyone?"

"Just us." Harry confirmed, "Did you read in the paper about Lucius Malfoy and Peter Pettigrew?"

"That was you?" Michael asked.

"Yes." Ginny said, "We are called the Laughing Ninja's."

"Aren't Ninja's suppose to be quiet?" asked a muggle born from Hufflepuff.

"We are quiet, most of the time." Ginny answered, "Sometimes you just have to laugh out loud."

"Now here's what t we're going to do." Harry outlined the plan that they would be part of.


	5. Chapter 5

On the grounds of Hogwarts people were moving every which way. Some were pouring the contents of cauldrons on the ground. Others were waving their wands and chanting over those same areas. Still others were magically digging holes or growing trees and plants. The grounds were a bee hive of activity. Looking around you could find everyone was busy doing something. Some of the defenses had already been completed and while the rest were still being set up. Harry was teaching Ron and Hermione how to make black holes. Moody was teaching some others how to do a patronus. When Albus returned from Hogsmeade several more witches and wizards followed him. The rest of the village had been hidden by an ingenious trick Harry had suggested. The town appeared normal. If a hex was thrown the effects would show on the village. So if a fire hex was thrown at a building it would appear to be burning. The residents would react to this fire. The truth though was completely different. The actual buildings were hidden behind the illusion. They were protected but no one would know. No magic could occur in the village it's self. Everyone would be doing things the muggle way but none of them would even realize it. That way if there were spies in the village they wouldn't alert Voldemort to the plan. It was complex and took some power but it was doable.

By dinner all the preparations were complete. Everyone ate then some left to patrol while others rested. Harry leaned against the wall and Ginny snuggled up next to him and the two slept. Ron was a bit put out by the two snuggled together until Hermione sat down beside him and put her head on his shoulder.

"Don't move." she said, "I want to sleep for a bit."

"Ok." Ron watched her for a while with a look of amazement on his face. Eventually though he fell asleep too. He woke several hours later hearing the twins say something.

"Awwww… they are so cute." He heard one of them say, "I wish I had a camera."

"The black mail material we're giving up is heart breaking."

Ron opened his eyes and saw they were standing over him and he started to stretch wondering what they were on about. A weight on his shoulder made him remember Hermione was leaning against him.

"Do we have to get up now?" he asked.

"Yes poor boy." he thought it was George.

Ron moved his shoulder a bit and said, "Hermione I think we have to get up now."

"Don't want too." she replied.

"Sorry but Voldemort has arrived at Hogsmeade." Fred said.

"Oh I'm awake." she sat up eyes wide.

As the two yawned and stretched Ron asked, "Who were you getting black mail material on?"

"The four of us." Harry answered.

"Why?" Hermione asked.

"You were all cuddled up and sleeping together." George pointed out.

"Everyone saw us how are you going to use that for black mail?" she asked as Ron helped her to stand and they walked away hand in hand.

Neither of the twins knew how to answer her they were too shocked. Harry and Ginny chuckled at their looks of confusion.

"They got together last night." Ginny said, "Harry and I were cuddling on the couch and Ron told us to stop."

"I told him it might be my last chance to ever hold her again." Harry said, "One or the other, or both of us could die today."

"It lit a fire under him and he told her he likes her as more than a friend." Ginny grinned widely.

"I never thought he'd actually tell her." Fred gaped.

"We need to get into position." Harry nudged Ginny. The two stood and pulled up their hoods and disappeared from view.

"I want to know how you two do that." George called to where he thought they were moving.

Harry's laugh echoed around the room, "Later George."

By the time Harry and Ginny got to the window they would be watching from they could just see the first Death Eaters reach the gates. Harry was already chuckling before anything actually happened.

"Shhh. You're supposed to laugh silently." Ginny admonished.

The Death Eater grabbed the gate. With the first flash of light his clothes were banished. He didn't let go quick enough so he was gone in the next flash. The rest of the group stopped and stared stupidly at the spot where he had vanished from. After a very pregnant pause the entire group took several steps back. One minute after he had disappeared he reappeared covered in snow. Harry saw several of his comrades approach him and they appeared to be talking. Someone sent a spell at him and he was finally able to stand enough to put on the clothes someone had conjured for him.

"Where did you send him?" Dean asked from beside the two of them.

"Antarctica." Harry replied with a slight grin on his face.

"Without clothes?" he asked with a look of amazement on his face.

"Makes fifty below zero really feel cold." Ginny stated calmly.

"That's harsh." Dean shook his head.

"Slowed them down." Ginny said, "If we hadn't done that they'd already be beating at the gates. Now they have to wait for their curse breaker to get up to the front."

"Don't you think it's a bit much?" Seamus asked from the other side.

"It's not enough to stop them." Harry said, "Just slow them down. Of course it won't slow them enough to actually think we're on to them. By the time one of the more intelligent ones get there the curse will be gone and they won't know we're onto them either."

"It has the added benefit that he won't be willing to touch anything or anyone." Ginny grinned, "For fear of being sent back."

"Does anything else have a curse like that?" Seamus asked.

"Sure Ginny's clothes, the front doors, a couple of the new trees and seven wands." Harry said, "They only activate if a person with the dark mark touches them."

"In the case of the wands it sends the wands back to the owner before sending them off." Ginny added as she watched the curse breaker start to work on the gates, "All of their wands get gathered in the fireplace of Slytherin."

"Isn't there always a fire in the fireplaces of the common rooms?" Dean asked in confusion.

"Yes, that why we chose the Slytherin common room. If any damage is caused from their destruction it will be kept in the dungeon." Harry grinned, "I did ward the room enough that it won't be flooded if the integrity of the room is compromised."

The curse breaker finally got through and pushed open the gates. The group started streaming through the open gates. A few paused looking at the new trees and plants near them but shrugged them off and went on. As the Death Eaters moved in you could see a few flashes of light now and then. The front doors of the school opened and the teachers filed out and began to fight. Harry kept watch and when Voldemort followed the rest of the death eaters through the gates they closed behind him. They closed so quietly that no one noticed. Then the gates disappeared all together and in their place was a brick wall. At that moment the illusion on Hogsmeade vanished including the smoke that had been floating towards the school. The residents still in the village gaped with open mouths. The next part of the plan was put into action as the rest of the order and all the Aurors exited the school and joined the teachers in the fight.

Soon more of the pranks started. Black holes appeared under death eaters and they abruptly stopped fighting as they dropped into the earth. They were kept inside just long enough to aim to hole and then it spit them back out. They would fly through the air until they hit a group of death eaters and it would take all of them down. This made it easier for the good guys to stun them. Harry had taught them a new stunner. It had a password. If you didn't think the password as you were waking them you would be stunned too.

All around the number of Death Eaters was dwindling. In the forest giants, trolls, dementors and acromatulas were making their way to the castle. They didn't start to run into any trouble until they reached the grounds. The two giants were taken out first. They stepped on the places where the cauldrons had been poured out. When they touched the spot they were hit with a powerful paralyzing spell and then sucked down into the earth. The only thing sticking out was their heads. Their arms were pinned to their sides from the spell so that when the dropped in their arms would not be free. The spells themselves couldn't hold them more than a few seconds but by that time they were stuck in the ground and unable to move.

The students that had stayed were spread throughout the school in rooms with windows. They were sitting in the rooms taking turns activating other pranks and throw spells from above. Whenever someone would near a plant one of them would release its holding spell allowing it to reach out and grab whatever unsuspecting Death Eater was near.

Harry continued to watch Voldemort as he watched what was happening. He didn't let his eyes wander because he didn't want to miss noticing when Voldemort joined the fight. Seamus flicked his wand and Ginny cackled.

"He just activated the first mime box." Ginny said for Harry's benefit, "Belletrix was fighting Tonks and she was just about to lose. Now she has a killing curse bouncing around her."

"Excellent." Harry said.

"I can't believe you can make those." Dean said, "How did you get them to reflect the curse back into the box?"

"Mirror effect." Ginny stated.

"Whoops, Belletrix didn't duck fast enough." Seamus said then he yelled, "Take that for Neville."

"Thanks." Neville yelled back, "Who did it?"

"Seamus did." Dean responded.

"I'm buying you dinner in Paris for that. But you have to find your own date." he called back.

Harry's body shook with his chuckle but he didn't make a sound. Ginny's eyes grew wide because she knew that meant he was in Ninja assassin mode. Before she could say anything he disappeared. She reached out but he was already gone.

"Voldemort's on the move." Dean said a few seconds later.

"I know Harry is already gone." Ginny sighed.

"I didn't even hear him leave." Dean commented.

"You won't see or hear him again until he's ready to reveal himself to Voldemort. Time to get on the grounds." She said and gave the cue to the other students.

Within a few moments they were on the grounds activating the pranks that had to be done from short range. Ginny fired a spell off and it hit the ground at the Death Eaters feet. Before he could comment that she had missed three arms burst from the ground. Two grabbed the death eater and held on tightly. The third grabbed his wand and disappeared back into the ground. Several more of those spells were activated and when a death eater tried to destroy the arms to help their fellows they were sent flying through the air and stuck to the castle wall near the top floor. The piers that had shot up to send them flying dropped back into the ground waiting for the next victim.

During this time Harry had become visible and was fighting Voldemort. Of course Voldemort didn't know who he was fighting as Harry was still covered head to toe in black. At first they were just flinging normal curses. Harry didn't want to give away his tactics too quickly.

Meanwhile Ginny had sent off a few more hexes when she felt someone grab her from behind. The feeling only lasted for a second then two bright flashes removed the man's clothes and sent him to Antarctica. Ginny chuckled and activated her invisibility; she'd been waiting for someone to try that. The spiders had found their way blocked when the first of them stepped into a glue like substance. It locked their feet to the ground and they were unable to continue. The others turned back and abandoned the fight. They had only agreed to fight to get a meal. But a meal that fought back this hard wasn't worth it. The trolls were still moving forward so Luna, Hermione and Ron activated the invisible wall that was in their way. Being the unintelligent creatures that they were they tried to push through the wall. They never thought to see if it had an edge that they could walk around. As a result several trolls died as the ones behind them crushed them into the unmovable wall.

Neville was watching behind the three that had activated the wall, "We're getting some company."

They turned around to face four death eaters bearing down on them. They began to throw curses and dodge the ones thrown at them. The spells were coming so fast that none of them could activate the prank the death eaters were standing on. After a several intense minutes Ron was disarmed. His wand went flying through the air. The death eater that caught it was surprised with two quick flashes he found himself in the middle of a blizzard without a stitch of clothing covering him and no wand in hand. Ron's wand flew back to his hand and he triggered the prank. The three remaining death eaters were frozen in their tracks. A cauldron appeared overhead and tipped covering them in stink sap and then several feather pillows exploded dropping their feathers onto the group.

They high fived each other and ran off to help in another place. After they were gone a flash returned the one in Antarctica. He had no wand and couldn't stop shaking enough to reach one of the others. By the time he got to a wand he was covered in sap and feathers and the second he touched the wand he was frozen like the others.

Ginny noticed Minerva was having trouble fighting two death eaters near the lake. Her first spell sailed past them into the lake but every spell after that drove them back. When they reached the edge of the lake the Giant Squid reached out and grabbed them and drug them into the lake. Minerva went to leave and Ginny grabbed her arm.

"They'll be back in a few seconds. We need to stay and disable them when they return." She said, "I didn't ask the squid to kill them just scare them really good before throwing them out."

Just as she finished the two were spit out of the lake and came rocketing back towards the land. Ginny stunned them before they landed then Minerva broke their wands and tied them up and left them by the lake.

Molly Weasley was kind of having fun. Harry had pulled her aside before the battle and helped her remember several battle spells that she had forgotten. He had told her to remember even household spells could distract someone enough for her to disable them or force them into one of the traps. Arthur had complemented her on her style when she saved him from a killing curse by waxing the bottom of the death eater's shoes. He had hit the ground hard and when he had tried to stand back up he looked like he had been hit with a jelly legs curse. She had scourgified another ones mouth and it was so full of soap he couldn't say any spells. Bill had incapacitated him for her. She had conjured a set of knitting needles and they were busy knitting a sweater from the long hair of one death eater female that she had dropped into a devils snare. They needles were a great distraction allowing Molly to get the upper hand.

The battle between Harry and Voldemort was heating up as the rest of the death eaters were captured. Harry had finally revealed his identity and started throwing pranks at the evil wizard and Voldemort was not happy about it. He didn't like the hole swallowing him up only to dump him back on the ground from ten feet in the air. He had been able to catch himself before he hit but it was embarrassing to be caught like that. Plants were attempting to ensnare him and flowers were squirting goo at him. And when he ran into an invisible wall his temper broke. The explosive force was enough to break the wall and knock Harry to the ground, along with everyone else present.

"Give up Potter, I will destroy you. These little pranks will do nothing to me. You can't beat me." Voldemort crowed, "I have won the day and your feeble attempts will be for nothing. You are out of your depth. I out class you in power and you have nothing left."

"I'm just getting started. By the time I'm done you'll be begging me to kill you." Harry said.

"Please just kill me now." Voldemort said snidely.

"If you insist." Harry replied and flicked his wand. Nothing happened that anyone could see. But just before Voldemort could say anything everyone heard a loud whistling sound coming from above. They all looked up just in time to see a huge anvil drop out of the sky onto the Dark Lord. It was a very messy, very squishy sounding thump that ended the life of Tom Riddle. Hermione, Dean and all the other muggle born's present busted up laughing.

"Muggle cartoon gag." Harry explained to the rest of the crowd.

"You know Harry." Ginny stated appearing at his elbow, "I think he may have been saying that sarcastically. Oh well too late now."

***Mime box *** invisable box that surrounds the death eater. The look like a mime as they feel around trying to get out.


End file.
